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I’ve been doing the whole online dating thing on and off for years now and, let me just say, I’ve had the entire range of good, bad, and ugly messages arrive in my inbox.There was a time I even created a blog to showcase some of the best of the worst because I felt the world should share in the horror with me.A quick read through of your message before you send it ensures that any grammatical or spelling errors will be remedied. The best writers in the world spend hours throwing away entire pages before they’re written something of worth.Take a note from the greats and think of the first message you write as a rough draft.Compose yourself before sending it off and ask if you can write an even better online dating first message. She’s already getting inundated with vapid “H factor” words like: hi, hey, hello, hola, etc.If you don’t believe me, ask to see a female friend’s Tinder account and check for yourself. How are you expected to create a personalized message when the written portion of her profile is blank?
Again we see the banal opener being sidestepped for a stimulating question.
Here are a few online dating first messages that will help you out. Dale Carnegie, author of one of the best selling books of all time, , says that “a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Writing her name gives the message a personal touch. Asking her to tell you something cool about herself is to ask her to prove her worth.
It also works because now you’ll get to know something unique about this stranger.
Three sentences are all you need to write in a first message—this establishes your interest and initiates conversation. Of course, finding your own tone and voice will definitely help too.
Good luck out there, and may the words be with you! She is the founder of Go Eat a Carrot, a website dedicated to exploring the worlds of pleasure and politics.